We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
