I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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