honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
