well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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