Welp...herpes.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
