You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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