I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
