when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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