dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I could fuck to npr.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
