I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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