ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
