You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
