I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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