My hand turned me down
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
