I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This baby is an asshole
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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