All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
