My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
