new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
