yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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