Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
