he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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