I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
