1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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