You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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