I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize