how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
