she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
