wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
