it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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