So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
