We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize