I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
