Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
