he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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