Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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