i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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