Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
