Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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