I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
All I want is dick and wine.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
