I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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