Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
