I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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