yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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