That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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