"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
