well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
