have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
