I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
