I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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