Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
