Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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