Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
