I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
