No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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