can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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