Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
