There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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