What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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