Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
