i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Two words: blizzard sex
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
