I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
