The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
