Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I could fuck to npr.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
