Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
