$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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