I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
