goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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