i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
