i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
