and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
