Do you still have your period?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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