shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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